I was so excited about my husbands suggestion that I pushed back posting about the weekends events, but now that I got that out of my system. I spent a little time in the forums over the weekend, just for fun and/or curiosity. I noticed something I had observed before, but it seems so much more pronounced now. The competing threads of, 'Is this just a bad month' and 'I'm having a great month'. Each original post is followed by people agreeing with them in seemingly equal numbers. So, either half of them are liars or much more likely is that there is no great trend that we are all following. Sure, it's wonderful to commiserate with others, but there does not appear to be a universal reason as to why on either side of the spectrum. The whole system will have good times and bad times, but there are always exceptions to the trend.
In other news, Sunday night found me on the front page again while I slept and again yesterday. The most recent one was in the middle of the day and was one of those admin picked front pages that did not originate as a treasury. Somehow that makes it a bit sweeter. All this attention as of late has be a bit concerned though. You see I have ego issues, in my youth I was a social reject, thus developed self esteem issues. At the same time, I was too smart for my own good and therefore had a mighty ego. These two forces create a bit of a monster. When my ego is fed, much like it has been as of late, my head grows to an unnatural size and when I am given no attention, I delve into a state similar to teenage angst, all depression and self doubt. So I am afraid that when the other shoe drops and things return to normal, I will be an emotional wreck.
What can you do to help my emotional health? Easy, stop feeding the ego monster. If the attention slowly wanes I will be much easier to deal with. I mean the only other option is to somehow ensure that the attention continues unabated, to avoid the crash altogether, but along with my crazy ego dichotomy, I am also a confirmed realist, which is just a baby step above a pessimist. I feel much more comfortable with my future downfall than I do with accepting that I may have succeeded. Sad, of course, but it's the truth.