Friday, September 5, 2008

Riding Out The Bumps

I have been through a great many growth spurts in recent history. I became a mother twice, exposed my "hobby" to the world for its approval and most recently I have laid my thoughts bare for all to see. All of these things have caused me great joy and even greater stress. As much as I love my children and revel in seeing them grow every day, they are most certainly the hardest job I have ever had. For every kind word, hug and kiss I am given in reward there are days of thankless tasks and unnoticed work. It is the same with my tatting and my blog, for every comment, sale or compliment there are weeks of feeling completely ignored. This causes all sorts of self doubt for me.

The ironic thing is, things have gotten much worse as things have gotten much better. Does that make any sense? I'll explain. When I was making a sale every week or two, all I expected was a sale every week or two. Low expectations meant that I could always meet expectations. When I first started my blog all I expected were a couple of readers and a comment now and again, so I was never disappointed. In the last couple of months things have gotten steady, not amazing by any means, but I began to rely on a certain amount of readers, a comment on every post and consistent sales. In fact I'm beginning to become so reliant on these things that when things don't play out this way, I am almost devastated. I start to wonder what I did wrong, who I upset, or what can I do to remedy the problem.

The problem however, does not actually exist. There is nothing for me to really fix, while I may have upset someone, that is probably not having any effect on my views or sales. These bumps along the way are normal. They may seem enormous, but that's just a trick of perspective. I've simply become so spoiled by a bout of good fortune that I mistook for an entirely new reality. It really is like the stock market, you can get excited at every up and devastated by every down, or you can go all in for the long haul and ride the waves as the come. You can try to fix every downturn immediately with a knee jerk reaction or you can make gradual and lasting changes that will result in long term success in whatever it is you do. It really is the zen thing to do.

10 comments:

Gina said...

LOL! I don't know how people have time to go around and comment on every blog myself. I try to read as many as possible but I don't comment nearly as often as I could. How many times can you say "beautiful work" before it starts sounding patronizing? I try to limit my comments to encouraging new tatters and to work that excites me in some way. Even then, I am limited sometimes by that fact that I have a full time job and soon a part-time one, as well as being a group owner and writing in several blogs of my own. I can do that because I don't have a husband or children to tend to which I'm pretty sure would eat up my time. When I had those people in my life, they were my priority so I'm aware of how little time is often left for yourself in those cases. You're doing great! Keep following up on your inspiration and don't worry about the lack of response. If you do what you love, the rest will come to you.
:-) Gina

Kristen said...

I'm sooooo glad to see that I'm not the only one who's felt this way before! Great post :)

CAT Productions said...

I get that way, too, from time to time. Then, I start worrying that I'm being paranoid. Usually, I do like you're doing and just try to work through it. You do such beautiful work!

Jewelry Rockstar said...

I think things are so crazy in the world that we constantly look for confirmation that things are okay. Nice words, sales, and for me my space comments help me along. I don't fall apart when strangers don't call on me, but I love it when they do. However, when my family doesn't acknowledge me I fall into a pity party. Sometimes I just stay online to get acknowledgments because at home they complain about the veggies I cook and on, and on.

Emmy Lou said...

I'm totally with you!

kim* said...

good golly those masks are super.

kim* said...

good golly those masks are super.

Tammy said...

Wow, you gave yourself some sound advie. There is no problem with you, your blog or your work. We are all busy and it's like making time for a good magazine. Best of luck in the upcoming months. Don't look to everyone else for your happiness. You have to make your own, dear. We all have those self doubts but must push them aside and go on doing what we love. hugs, Tammy

Anonymous said...

That was a really well spoken thought that I'm sure a whole lot of us share. We are all singing in the shower, not really sure who can hear us... hopefully you are enjoying your self, (I personally really hope so), because it can leave an amazing impression on not just your children, but everyone who enjoys and values your work. You are blazing a trail, it's thankless, but you are making a huge difference.

Licks, Love ,& Luck...
-Zygote-

fly tie said...

i like the way this ended. :-) and i certainly understand where you and others who commented here are coming from.